I only wanted a fancy picture or two, now the Nigerian pirates are after me

Righ, fucking hell, where to start with this one, a right cluster fuck..

So, I'm working on a new project, I saw a gap in the market and I'm rolling with it.

I got the website sorted, everything looked good, but I wanted it to look a little more personalised.

So I went on fiverr, and made a job request titled "customising my website template" and in the description I put: simple edits, add a few images and change a few things on the php script.

Right, simple enough?  Yeah, you'd fucking think so.

So, the next day I had about 50 or so replies, one caught my attention, he said he will make my website beautiful and do great things.

Who can't ignore an offer like that, so I agreed a price,  he said they was going to make my website responsive or some shit, I said if its in the budget, you do what you need todo.

So I paid the funds into the escrow, and gave the guy the admin details so he can crack on.

Next day, he messages me saying he's having a little trouble with the site as it's not wordpress, yeah we know mate, I told you this.

A couple of days later, he saying he's having a hard time implementing his idea on to my website.

For fuck sake mate, I wanted something simple and a bit more customised.

So I told him to cancel the the whole idea, he begged me to give him another go, pleading with me that it will ruin his reputation on the fiver platform if he doesn't complete the work.

I'm a nice guy, you can try again then mate.

A week later

He's corrupted my database, pissed off my Saudi web guy, who set it all up for me, and hasn't made one change to the website...

So I speak to fiver customer service, explain what's happened, and I asked if his reputation on the feedback system won't be marked down, and can I have my money back.

They agreed.

So, they gave me my money back, happy days.

So I said to the guy, you have tried, I'll send you a little crypto for your efforts.

Then he starts asking how much I'm going to send him, then he's telling me it's not enough, and started telling me he needs more.

FUCK YOU

Blocked him, and I thought that was that.

So I changed my admin details and beefed up security, but I'm still concerned he may of stuck some naughty shit on the hosting somewhere. 

So a day or two later, the cheeky fucker signs up to the website, opens a support  ticket and starts giving me abuse!

Now I'm being stalked on the interwebs by Nigerian pirates trying to extort monies from me.

See my reply below.

So fucking hell, I pissed off the Nigerian pirates, upset the Saudis, and still back at square one.

So I learnt to do the fucker myself and it looks awesome. 

If you want something done, fucking do it yourself.